I don't really know how to write this. Any other time I have spoken about my emotions it has always been reflecting on them rather than in the midst of them. But I felt like I needed to write them down somewhere and then remembered that's what my blog is for.
As some of you know our situation isn't ideal. We are currently in part time work, living at my mums and trying to scrape enough money together to get a rental deposit somewhere. One of us needs a full time job though. Working less than 30 hours a week between us doesn't really bring in the big bucks and with a car that seems to die every month we always seem to have a set back. We can't afford to live down here without a full time wage as for some reason the benefit office hates us.
On the exterior I can do a really good job at holding it all together. Inside however I have no idea what's going on. Ashamed that I can't get a job, Frustrated that I'm back living with my mum when I never expected or wanted to do that. Saddened that I've not given my son a stable home that I wanted to provide him with.
Not knowing what's going to happen each month, worrying about the smallest thing is really affecting us. Scott's in a writing funk, I'm an insomniac with horrendous migraines and Max seems to have fallen out of the great routine he was in as he doesn't seem to know what's going on.
I know the saying is the only way is up, but at the moment the climb seems pretty far to go. Fingers crossed that all our hopes and prayers get answered! And if anyone knows any full time jobs in Southampton then let us know!
Oh Laura i'm so sorry you are going through a crappy time of it at the moment. Life is never easy at the best of times, but one day you will look back on these months from a better place, please do keep that in mind! Your home life could be far more unstable for Max so please don't beat yourself up over it, good things happen to good people, sometimes you just have to wait a while for them to happen xxx
ReplyDeleteLauren | Belle du Brighton x
Love you guys lots :( miss you xxx
ReplyDeleteLoti
Http://whatcharliewore.blogspot.com
I love you and remember there's always a place here for you all <3
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