FriDad Bomb! Hello readers...this community needs a nickname (all six of you).
It's fair to say that's a lie...it's only four. But lying is a sure sense of security right? It's false truth and deviation, but it's safe right.
It's as House expresses "everybody lies".
We lie to hide things, we lie to protect ourselves and we lie to our children. The difference you'll see in lying to children is it's for so many reasons.
Be honest, your parents dropped you some big, fat porky pies. 'Eat your carrots, you'll see in the dark', 'sitting too close to the tv gives you square eyes', 'if you don't clean your room, carpet sharks will grow in your carpet then try to eat you and circle you in your sleep'. I can honestly say it was well worth tidying my room last month...phew, no carpet sharks for me.
So I wanted to reflect a little. Is it fair parents lie?
Well, it depends on the lie. Lies have different ramifications, but a lot of lies I find are for the best.
Little white lies are safe. The carrot lies etc. are great to encourage good habits. Kids respect what their parents say, even when you think they're 'too authoritative'. It's not wrong or unfair, sure the kids will cotton on soon enough, but for starters it's a great way to offer veg without forcing it into their mouths.
There are lies you tell to scare your children with. They can be stories that you tell that come with morals. This is fair, I have no problem with these. Children do struggle to listen to straight forward advice. A little fear and respect goes a long way until they can comprehend.
The death of a pet I think is important. Telling children that the fish can change colour, they've run away avoids having to give the speech about death which kids can't really fathom. Unless you think it's something they can handle, carry on.
Little lies to believe in things Father Christmas, Easter, Tooth Fairy is a little bit messed up I believe. I understand that it adds to the 'magic' and yes it is fun, but one slip and see the look on their sweet faces. It's hard to avoid, because it's so fun but it's dangerous, because you all remember trying to catch your parents out. One benefit is adjusting behaviour for Father Christmas, it works for us.
My favourite one is the benefit for the parent. I recall a day when a boy who lived down my old street called Jamie moved in and he was a mouthful. He had two younger brothers and they were loud. I remember close to dinner time he would go out with his brothers with clipboards and pens and writing down all the car registrations around the block.
I went up to him and asked what he was doing. He told me that his mum thought it was important to do this for her before dinner. It was only recently that I kind of had an idea what his mum was up to. Free time is tough to come by, so things like this, which are harmless aren't bad. Obviously, as long as it's done appropriately.
So, in conclusion I truly believe that lies are valuable. We lie to our kids a bunch and sometimes it can be quite cruel. Sure, there are consequences if you get caught, but if only they could understand that they were done with the best intentions, they will copy us when they choose parenthood...just like we did.
That conclude FriDad. Have a great week or the carpet sharks will be after you I swear to god. Also, if you have a great lie please share it.
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